Is that a LARGE queue sir ?

McCafe will crush Starbucks is the headline as Mcdonalds start to offer Latte and other frothy options in its restaurants. Does anyone think that is true ?

I don't particularly like Starbucks over roasted coffee ( Charbucks ) and I hate it when you get a miserable Eastern European with a heavy accent giving you attitude and talking to her friend who should be making your coffee.

I hate it when someone in Starbucks ahead of you wants a winky-wanky-decaff-organic-slim-fippy-floppy-frothy-extra-wet - WHAAAAAAAT ! - just order a coffee and get out of the way...if you want to drink shaving foam thats your problem but don't go to a coffee shop.

BUT .... Can you imagine how SLOW.... Wayne and Debbie the spotty sixteen year old McJobbers will be... They can't even keep enough food coming to be called a fast food restaurant anymore and if they have to plod around making a Winky-Wanky Mcfrothers your food will be cold(er) before you get it.

The theory is that McCafe will attract people as it will be significantly cheaper than Starbucks and during a recession people trade down. McD sales of food have risen 4% in the recent bad times according to McDs as "people seek out good value nutritious food".

I will think of the fat family in velour tracksuits, all ten kids in football shirts and grade one home haircuts frothing at the mouth while Bradley and Sigourney McJob make a frothy no coffee coffee with extra chocolate sprinkles for a down at heel Starbucks customer. I wonder when the first McCafe murder will take place as the slavering bison bottomed family stampede to the front at the sight of someone opening a second till point. Blinded by hunger and the scent of the fries we hear the sound of twenty four nike trainers with no laces treading over the wafer thin woman waiting for her winkywanky McFrothy ?

As I sit in Starbucks having paid ten quid for a double shot, fully leaded, blacker than coal coffee and a Maple Pastry I think I will keep my coffee and burger habits separate - at least until things have had a chance to settle down out there.