Its 4.40 am and I am literally the first person into the terminal which is a bit weird. – BUT – Worse !
I have been on a car park bus which arrived in the dark and the doors opened,the driver drove me here and I got off.
I went through a boarding card check, bag scan and even a random passport inspection and all in the ten minutes
Not one word of good morning or thank you or even eye contact I think that something is spooky here. At the baggage check they didn’t even stop talking to each other to acknowledge me as my bag went through the scanner and I skipped through the metal detector portal and grabbed my bag the other side.
I can only think that through some strange force field effect that happened around Hemel Hempstead I have become totally invisible, I am completely unseen, transparent and hidden on this fine Heathrow early morning. If the shops were not all shuttered I could use my new incredible invisibility talent to steal watches or diamonds or those high prices wallets with a little bird poo logo.
What shall I do with my new found superhuman powers I wonder as I am thwarted by the heavy shop front shutters ?
In a moment that reminds me I am not just a super invisible human but still a little bit mortal I need to head to the toilets
The little Asian lady leaps out from behind a trolley the size of the ark royal and throws a plastic rope across in front of me and says “go away – cleaning” and gives me a ferocious multi directional stare from under a grey mono-brow.
Wow …that's a shame just when I was enjoying being invisible it must have worn off and everyone will see me standing here with crossed legs…
Just my luck ….
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